#77 Torque

IMDB Link

Plot:

Biker Cary Ford is framed by an old rival and biker gang leader for the murder of another gang member who happens to be the brother of Trey (Ice Cube), leader of the most feared biker gang in the country. Ford is now on the run trying to clear his name from the murder with Trey and his gang looking for his blood.

A User Review:

A lot of people think that I love the "Charlie's Angels" movies because I think they're "so bad, they're good", when that's actually not true. On the contrary, I think they are pretty smart (especially in the precise way they constantly reference pop culture in clever and heartfelt ways). And yes, they are totally silly and unrealistic and goofy, but what I like about that is that it's completely intentional (which is what most people don't get, and is so obvious to me).

"Torque", on the other hand, is a perfect example of a movie that is TRULY so bad, it's good. Or at least enjoyable in a surreal, lunatic sort of way. This movie seriously doesn't have a brain in its head.

In every sense a B-movie, it most resembles those gleefully exploitive, low-budget movies that Roger Corman and Russ Meyer made decades ago, where biker gangs did battle with their switchblade-toting girlfriends at their side. And it's every bit as silly as it sounds, which could be either good news or bad news for you, depending on what kind of filmgoer you are.

Personally, I knew it was crap the whole time, but still had a blast watching it. The story is ridiculous and the dialogue is ludicrous (these characters exist in a world where when a girl says "Nice bike", the guy says "Nice a**" and she LIKES it). But I cannot fully resist a movie in which two improbably beautiful biker chicks stare each other down on their bikes in a photogenic, deserted alleyway (both of them in front of huge product logos, for extra giggles), one of them yells "Bring it on, b****!", the other whips out a switchblade, and then they charge! As a classic B-movie enthusiast, I offer no apologies for having fun watching a scene like that.

It's really not all bad, either. Martin Henderson and Monet Mazur have some genuinely nice and tender scenes together, and the great, color-conscious cinematography makes everything look so shiny you could eat off the screen. Jamie Pressly is an absolute hoot as the evil biker chick, and Adam Scott scores some laughs as a conceited F.B.I. agent.

Also, several of the action scenes are pretty amazing, once you get over the idea that this movie is obviously not taking place on planet Earth, but rather some video game universe or a 12 year-old's dream.

I wish Ice Cube was off doing the kinds of good movies he used to make (like "Three Kings", the original "Friday", "Boyz N The Hood", "Higher Learning", "Ghosts Of Mars"...), but he contributes some laughs as one of the heavies here. I do wish he had changed his expression at least once, though. You know the one where he grits his teeth and curls his upper lip so that he look like he hates your guts and steam is about to come out of his ears? That's the one that he has throughout the entire movie.

Basically, I'm not gonna fight for this movie or anything, I realize it's of essentially no value. I'll just say that it made it easy for me to shut off my brain and I enjoyed it, and maybe you will too.

Trivia:

Jesse James of West Coast Choppers and Monster Garage makes a cameo appearance in the scene where Ford and Shane are talking inside the tent. Two of his custom choppers are used later in the movie as the bikes Henry James' drugs are stored in.

Russian Poster:



Trailer:

#76 Super Mario Bros.

IMDB Link

Plot:

Can you make a movie out of a video game? Thats the question that is answered by this film. Mario Mario and Luigi Mario, two hard working plumbers find themselves in an alternate universe where evolved dinosaurs live in medium hi-tech squalor. They find themselves the only hope to save the Earth from invasion.

A User Review:

I made the mistake of watching this movie the day i had knee surgery. So i was doped up on all kinds of pain killers and thought the movie was great. However a few years later i remembered how much i enjoyed the movie so i watched on tv when it was run again. I was blown away with how horribly bad it was. I was also amazed on how much i remembered being in the movie that wasn't. so as the title says be careful how you watch. As a side note this is not an endorsement to do drugs just to make bad movies better.

Trivia:

During a chase scene, Bob Hoskins broke his finger when the van's door slammed on his hand. For the rest of the film, Hoskins is wearing a cast that was painted pink to look like a hand.

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Trailer:

#75 Surviving Christmas

IMDB Link

Plot:

Drew Latham is an executive leading an empty, shallow life with only wealth on his side. Facing another lonely Christmas ahead, Drew wants to revisit his old childhood home and possibly relive some old holiday memories. But when he arrives, he finds that the house he was razed in is no longer the home he grew up in. Inhabited by another family, Drew offers a nice financial reward that has the family ringing. But is Drew's generous cash offer only the beginning of an annoying visitor who's a little too overeager to celebrate Christmas?

A User Review:

This movie is terrible. TERRIBLE. One of the worst movies ever. I cannot even imagine Gigli being worse that this. Previews made us say "NO", but then looking for something amid the dreck out there right now, we decided to go ahead and give it a shot.

STUPID US.

Affleck is NOT an actor. He's an image and can look good with explosions, but not even the kind Bruce Willis got in "Die Hard". If he stripped his shirt and ran around fighting bad guys, it would be a comedy.

The best part was Catherine O'Hara -- she's always good. Gandolfini flops again (if it weren't for The Sopranos, he'd be washed up) like he did in "The Mexican".

Affleck hogs every scene and as others have said -- no character has any motivation whatsoever for their actions.

AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS.

Trivia:

Released to DVD just nine weeks after it opened in theaters.

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Trailer:

#74 Out For Blood

IMDB Link

Plot:

In Los Angeles, Detective Hank Holten is obsessed by his ex-wife, the writer of vampire novels Susan Hastings, stalking her and having drinking problems. His chief and friend, Captain John Billings, makes him promise to forget her and stop drinking, and assigns Hank to find Layla Simmons, who is missing and without notice to her family. Hank goes to a rave party, finds Layla, they go to an orgy party in an old building, and while having sex with her, Hank finds that the place is a vampire nest. He is bitten by the vampire-leader, but nobody believes on him. He looks for Susan to help him.

A User Review:

seriously, what the heck were these people thinking when they made this? some would say that there are far worser vampire movies out there, and i agree whole heartedly. but this thing can certainly butt heads with the crappiest of them, the plot is so overused it's as dead and hollow as the acting. the makeup was laugh out loud funny, if they were going for a menacing scary look they failed at the very start. and don't even get me started on the "MASTER VAMPIRE" most hilarious thing i have ever seen, he tries so hard to convey the impending doom thing that it's sad, i mean have you ever seen a vampire with a respiratory disorder? the only two people that could be taken serious was the main guy and Lance can't spell his last name. the people who try to praise this joke are seriously lacking the ability to distinguish a good or half decent movie from a god awful one, giving this film any sort of credit is like saying Hitler was a hero. to make a long story short it's terrible if you want to see a vamp movie with some actual good story writing watch Blade, Underworld, Bram Stokers Dracula, Interview with a vampire, and many more good ones. just avoid this one

Trivia:

The bloodstains on Hank's shirt keep changing throughout the movie.

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#73 Miami Connection

IMDB Link

Plot:

Survival the ultimate test...

A User Review:

What are you expecting from a bunch of people who have no acting experience and decide to get together and make a movie. The acting is terrible(duh). Y. K. Kim's english is really bad(double duh). But the good thing about this movie are the great fight sceans. They don't make you forget the horrible acting, but it makes up for it. If you want to laugh yourself silly watching a bad movie this movie is for you. Others beware. 5 out of 5(that's because I crack up every time I see this film.

Quote:

Mark: Listen to me. I don't want to have any trouble. I just get the job from agent. Don't bother us.

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Video:

#72 Phantoms

IMDB Link

Plot:

In the peaceful town of Snowfield, Colorado something evil has wiped out the community. And now, its up to a group of people to stop it, or at least get out of Snowfield alive.

A User Review:

"Phantoms" has a great concept. The force mankind is dealing with is mysterious and deadly. However, the movie has many problems. One of the problems with the movie is that the characters aren't interesting because we know very little about them. We find out a little about Ben Affleck's, however, making him the only character I found any bit interesting. The scary parts are way too predictable and so is the story itself. We see the big threatening thing that killed all the town at the end of the movie, and we find it ruins the only thing that kept the movie going. This movie should have made more time to know more about the characters and the thing they were fighting than trying lame ways to scare people. In conclusion, good idea;bad movie.

Trivia:

The "flatworm theory" used in the movie (that flatworms can eat the remains of their own kind and absorb their knowledge) is based on actual tests given to flatworms which involved seeing how quickly they would make the "correct" turn at a Y-intersection after eating the previous experimenters. The results were more inconclusive than the film says.

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Trailer:

#71 Vibes

IMDB Link

Plot:

Cyndi Lauper and Jeff Goldblum play two psychics hired by Peter Falk to find his long lost son in a foreign country. When they get there they discover he's really hired them to help find a hidden temple in the mountains where all the psychic energy in the world comes from.

A User Review:

Films, in which pop stars act, are usually denied critical acclaim (just as film stars, who sing). But I believe, there is should be no automatic condemnation! Of course, watching 'Vibes' does not make you a better or more intellectual person, but it has absolutely brilliant one-lines throughout the conversations between Cyndi Lauper and Jeff Goldblum, which are hard to beat, such as 'I like breathing … I'm good at it' or 'do you number everything?'. And if you are looking for two people, who do not take themselves seriously at all, Lauper and Goldblum are the perfect couple.

As long as you like 'weird' movies, 'Vibes' will not disappoint you. If you can only digest mainstream, you are likely to be bored.

Trivia:

The role of Nick was originally written for a very short man; the 7th draft of the script has Sylvia commenting that "I like my men a little taller". After Jeff Goldblum was cast, sections were rewritten to include the "Stretcharoo" jokes.

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Trailer:

#70 Voodoo

IMDB Link

Plot:

Andy comes to campus in order to be close to his girlfriend Rebecca. Since he needs a place to stay he joins one of the college fraternities. However, a strange looking man warns him that the fraternity is just a cover-up for the weird voodoo cult.

A User Review:

This is a perfect example of the 90's mainstream horror crap.Nothing is scary here and the film is almost bloodless.Yes,there is some violence,but everything is politically correct like in a TV movie.This is not a completely bad picture,I can safely say that I found it quite enjoyable.However a lack of the originality really hurts "Voodoo".All in all if you are a part of the mainstream audience and pseudo-horror movies like "Scream" are your favourite then you'll love "Voodoo",but if you want something very gruesome avoid this film.

Trivia:

Special effects created by K.N.B. Effects Group a company who went on to create the special effects for "The Walking Dead"

DVD cover Art:



Trailer:

#69 Wonder Women

IMDB Link

Plot:

Dr. Tsu is a brilliant surgeon with her own exotic island off the coast of Manila. Using her sexy, all-girl army of martial-arts experts, Tsu kidnaps some of the world's greatest athletes. She is able to transplant any body part, so she uses the athletes for spare parts to sell to the world's richest men. Mike Harber is a womanizing, wise-cracking insurance investigator for Lloyd's of London sent to Manila to investigate the disappearance of a jai-alai player, and becomes involved with Dr. Tsu's mad mission.

A User Review:

What I remember about the film was the only known star was Nancy Kwan, which meant it was truly a low-budget effort. Set in the Philippines, Hagen stars as a private eye who's on the hunt for a group of women kidnappers. Hagen gets to fight one female; On second thought it wasn't much of a fight. Hagen gets tossed all over the room, ruining furniture and appliances in the process, but still survives(!), despite the strength of his genetically-engineered female foe. He wins her trust and she leads him to the lair of Nancy Kwan, the evil scientist (!!). Atrocious acting, some good fight scenes, lush Manila scenery, poor plot. Strictly for enthusiasts of apartment-style mixed wrestling.

Trivia:

When Mike Harber first starts to chase Linda after she tried to kill him, he takes a tumble down the hotel stairs, but it is obviously his stunt double making the fall.

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Trailer:

#68 Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn

IMDB Link

Plot:

A seeker named Dogen rescues Dhyana after her father is murdered by the evil Jared-Syn. To avenge her father's death, Dogen must find Jared-Syn's hideout in the mysterious "Lost City", but the only person who knows where it is an aging, burned-out seeker named Rhodes. Along the way, they will need to do battle against the hunter Baal and his Cyclopean minions for engaging Jared-Syn in a final encounter.

A User Review:

In a galaxy far, far away… stood one man. Ah who cares...

Charles Band… yeah producer/director Charles Band and by that name you should know what you are going to get. Well unless it's your first taste, which if it is, 'Metalstorm' is probably not a great starting point. I wanted to like this one more, but by the end I was completely bored with only the saving grace being the performances of an amusing Tim Thomason (who definitely spiced things up) and Richard Moll dressed in make-up. This cheap b-grade post-apocalyptic Sci-fi fling wears its influences for everyone to see, but instills no personality. Aside from the western touches (and that standoff scene is actually well done), it was namely something out of 'Star Wars' and obviously 'Mad Max 2', which you could say Jeffery Byron's ranger character is easily patterned on Mel Gibson's leather-decked road warrior of those films. Nonetheless Bryon's stiff impression is no match. Also appearing with amount of interest is a very beautiful Kelly Preston, but she does quite little than titillate. Mike Preston as the head villain Jared-Syn left a lot to be desired, as I found him laughably nonsensical in a plastic sense.

Although why we watch these films is for some senselessly cheap fun and lousy exchanges. The latter was right on the mark with the dialogues, however sadly I found the junky action quite lackluster and sloppy with a poorly shot desert wasteland backdrop. It feels in slow-motion (and Brand even uses that technique at times), despite the (unfocused) story keeping things moving. It has its moments (probably just not enough even with the few tripped-out visuals) and the make-up of the fancy dressed mutants are decently executed. I couldn't say the same about the dodgy special effects, which really do come to the front at the end. Richard Band's score is a clunker of sorts.

I didn't find it to be completely awful by any stretch, but more so frustratingly drab and unfulfilled with only some minor flourishes and a chirpy Thomerson.

Trivia:

Directed By Charles Band who's Empire Pictures and Full Moon Entertainment how provided us with countless hours of Bad Movie

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Trailer:

#67 Werewolf vs the Vampire Women

IMDB Link

Plot:

Elvira is travelling through the French countryside with her friend Genevieve, searching for the lost tomb of a medieval murderess and possible vampire, Countess Wandessa. They find a likely site in the castle of Waldemar Daninsky, who invites the women to stay as long as they like. As Waldemar shows Elvira the tomb that supposedly houses the countess, she accidentally causes the vampire to come back to life, hungrier than ever. Daninsky has a hidden secret of his own, but will it be enough to save the two girls from becoming Wandessa's next victims?

A User Review:

I think it's obvious that no one in his right mind would expect a movie like this to be a masterpiece or anything remotely academic. From the very beginning, it should be clear to anyone that a movie with Paul Naschy and under the English title of "The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Women" is not going to be precisely the kind of horror movie anyone would take seriously. Not because Mr. Naschy cannot be taken seriously. As a matter of fact, I acknowledge him as a Latin horror legend and he has been in some of the finest horror films in Spanish I have seen, such as "Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll", for instance. On the other hand, this multifaceted actor, is also well-known for being in some of the most bizarre and random horror movies throughout the 60s and 70s. With this cute little horror flick, I mistakenly anticipated myself to a little bit of tasteless amusement that in the long run, was going to earn my reverences. If there wasn't any good gore, then at least I would have expected unintentionally humorous results, but sadly, this film fails to deliver the expected elements of entertainment that a horror fan would imagine in a film of this kind.

Too bad this film was so below my expectations. Like I said before, I expected at least some decent childishness to amuse myself. There's basically no gore whatsoever and the few death scenes, are rather effortless and insipid. Several films with Paul Naschy are well-known for having a little bit of everything, so I supposse I should give a friendly warning to anyone who thinks "La Noche de Walpurgis" is also going to be like this. Honestly, I got so bored watching this film, that in the end, the only reason why I didn't leave it incomplete, it's because I wanted to see if something would save it during the last minutes. Unfortunately, the silly opening sequence is about as good as it gets all the way trough.

Trivia:

The English dubbed copy of this film is part of the Public Domain on the U.S. territory.

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Trailer:

#66 Street Fighter

IMDB Link

Plot:

Col. William Guile leads an army of soldiers into the country of Shadaloo to find traces to lead him to General M. Bison, who has captured many people including three missing soldiers. Among them is Carlos "Charlie" Blanka, in which Bison decides to turn into a hideous mutant. On the other hand, Chun Li is a reporter who seeks revenge against Bison for the death of her father years ago. Then two small time hustlers Ryu and Ken, are arrested along with Sagat, a powerful arms dealer and Vega for dealing of illegal weapons. Guile recruits them in order to find Bison's base. Now Guile, T. Hawk, Cammy, Ryu, Ken, Chun Li, Balrog and E. Honda have three days before Bison murders the hostages and takes over the world.

A User Review:

It's really dangerous to make a movie out of a video game, especially when the characters in the video game are cartoony. STREET FIGHTER is a terrible movie. The characters are a joke, and ACT like it's all a joke. The movie looks cheesy (study Bison's "hovering" command pod - it's obviously hooked to some kind of crane), and committing the famous Street Fighter martial arts movies into live action just looks stupid. What do you expect from DeSouza when the only things he directed before were a "Tales From The Crypt" episode and some shows of "Bowling For Dollars"? (No joke) Even the few Van Damme fans that are still left (after he's made countless bombs like this) will be embarrassed for their onscreen hero.

Trivia:

The final scene of all the characters is a real-life recreation of an animation from the video game, where all the characters are on screen at the same time, and do their "win" animation.

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Trailer:

#65 Shot or Be Shot

IMDB Link

Plot:

An escaped mental patient holds a film crew hostage and forces them to film his screenplay.

A User Review:

Shatner & Hamlin are the reasons to watch this film. Tim Thomerson (Trancers movie series) has a bit part in the film that's worth the watch too. Everyone else pretty much bunks. William Shatner has one of the most original and funny lines in this film that I have ever heard in any movie...period. You'll know it when you hear it...it's pound-the-floor funny! Shatner's comic timing is right-on. Should he continue to make movies, he needs to do more movies like this. Harry Hamlin was also great as a sleazeball movie producer. Really, you don't have to be a fan of either Shatner or Hamlin to enjoy this film. It's only 90 minutes, the pace is relatively quick (for the most part)...and I'll say it again, William Shatner is funny!

Trivia:

Filmed in Los Angeles, California

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Trailer:

#64 Anaconda 3: Offspring

IMDB Link

Plot:

Cancer-terminal tycoon Peter Murdoch's secret Wexel Hall Pharmaceuticals lab has developed a blood orchid extract cure. To examine why it works optimally in snakes, they also bread a super-anaconda strain. But the original pair escapes, leaving a bloody trail of corpses. Murdoch runs, instructing his staff to clean up. They keep failing and being eaten like unsuspecting locals, some alive, even after enlisting ruthless big game hunter Hammett. The fast-growing pregnant monster sheds its skin, thus disabling the only tracking device.

A User Review:

Anaconda 3: The Offspring (or so it's called) tells the story about testing gone wrong in a facility, which causes an outbreak of two deadly Anacondas who have gone under scientific experiments and are now deadly, larger and stronger than ever. A mercenary (David Hasselhoff) and his team are sent to capture it, along with a scientist (Crystal Allen) who tags along. Anaconda 3 is the first of two Sci-Fi channel sequels to the first two Anaconda movies, and quite frankly...it sucks!

I was excited for this movie, for the pure fact that I really enjoyed the second and that I thought this movie would be a cheesy, fun b-movie...even for Sci-Fi channel standards. I was impressed with the stills, and well...David Hasselhoff battling snakes? I so wanted to see this! Unfortunately, it's a complete mess and doesn't even feel like an Anaconda movie. It's as if the writers of the script just slapped on the "Anaconda 3" title. Not once, apart from the opening sequence with the camera panning over the forest, did this movie feel like an Anaconda movie. I'm convinced it isn't.

The acting was mediocre, and Crystal Allen was the best actor in the movie. What annoyed me was the fact that they sold David Hasselhoff as the title name in the movie, when he is hardly even in the movie. He appears briefly at the beginning, then once again and then doesn't show up until 45 minutes into the movie. People expecting John Rhys Davies to have a good amount of screen time will be disappointed also, because he's underused also. The characters weren't very entertaining and the mercenaries felt like idiots waving guns around. They were also bought into the script very quickly, and just felt thrown in. Most of the actors are foreign also, so their obvious fake accents didn't help. As for the character development? There was none.

The CGI for the snakes was crappy, and if you thought the CGI in Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid was bad, this is miles worse. The Anaconda only looked decent enough when wrapping itself around victims. The kill scenes were easily the most entertaining part of the movie, because they were bloody, stupid, unrealistic and silly. But then, even these were rather bad...because all the fake blood splatter did not help things, especially when it looks computer generated and very cheap. Soundtrack was awful, and had a constant cheesy theme playing from start to finish. Dialogue was meh...the occasional "scientific" line thrown in from Crystal Allen's character.

I was also confused by the movie, because I had no ideas what part of the world the characters were at! There would be non-English speaking foreigners one second being eaten, and then an American woman and her kid relaxing in the sun. Then there would be an old, foreign town shown in a flashback and so forth. Most of the characters looked foreign, but spoke with American accents and I know the movie was filmed in Romania, but come on! I had no idea where the characters were supposed to be, and I also wish they used a boat and river in the movie, like the first two. Most of the time, it's running in the woods or driving around in a car with a fake backdrop.

Overall, Anaconda 3 "isn't" Anaconda 3, so don't be fooled. In fact, it's just a movie that's cashing in on the title and marketing itself as a sequel, when it really isn't. People who hated the first two will hate this most likely, and those who enjoyed both (or one) of the first two movies, will most likely hate this one too. I've seen worse from Sci-Fi, but I've seen better. I'll watch the 4th one, but I predict it will be just as bad as this one. Disappointing! This isn't a sequel as far as I'm concerned! Avoid.

Trivia:

Shot Back-to-Back with 'Anaconda 4: Trail of Blood'.

Indian Poster:



Trailer:

#63 Silent Rage

IMDB Link

Plot:

Dan Stevens is the sheriff of a small Texas town who checks out a disturbance which turns to murder. The killer is still in the house and he tries to kill Dan, but Dan stops him and arrests him. The killer attempts to flee, but is shot and killed and is taken to a medical institute. Three doctors, led by Dr. Philip Spires, operates on the killer and brings him back to life using a formula that the three doctors made and the killer is made indestructable. Dr. Tom Halman tries to terminate the killer, but he and his wife are killed. After the two remaining doctors are killed, the killer goes after Dr. Halman's sister Alison, and it's up to Sheriff Dan Stevens to stop him.

A User Review:

Yes, I know that Chuck Norris is predictable. He hardly ever says anything and he just kicks butt. We that is true for this movie also, but there are some extras that make this an unusual movie for Norris. First, Sheriff Chuck has a girlfriend, Toni Kalem, and they spend as much time as possible in bed giving us a great view of her ample chest. Now, that is not typical Norris behavior! When Norris visits a biker bar, we get to see some of his typical style as he cleans the place out. You knew that was going to happen, but, before he does, his Deputy, Stephen "Flounder" Furst (Animal House) gets an eyeful from one of the biker chicks, Lillette Zoe Raley, in her only movie. What a shame! We also see some action from the other biker mommas (Linda Tatum and Kathleen Lee) before Norris arrives. I've never seen so much action in a Norris film. All of this is just titillation as the real story is the mad scientist and his partner (Steven Keats and William Finley) develop a serum that resuscitates a dead man and causes his wounds to heal immediately, Bullets, falls from second stories, cars, fire - nothing stops this guy. Well, you know who will eventually stop him, or does he? This is the only film in which I have seen Ron Silver in a humane role. He was the third doctor who tried to stop his boss. I actually was starting to like him, but, fortunately, he gets killed off before that happens. That was close! If you want Norris action with a little sci-fi craziness, then this is the flick.

Tagline:

Science created him. Now Chuck Norris must destroy him.

Trivia:

Towards the end of the movie, we seen John Kirby, covered in flames, jump into a near by lake. When he comes out of the water his clothes are not burned at all.

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Trailer:

#62 Traxx

IMDB Link

Plot:

Traxx has battled his way through El Salvador, the Middle East and Nicaragua, spitting lead with two-handed good grace. He decides to retire to a life of baking designer cookies. Running out of dough to buy more dough, he hires himself as a "Town Tamer" and begins cleaning up Hadleyville, Texas, telling the lowlife street scum, "You got three choices. Be good, be gone, or be dead." Like all bacteria, the scum are resistant: crime boss Aldo Palucci (Robert Davi) brings in the dreaded Guzik brothers to rid the town of the town tamer, setting the stage for a showdown in the streets.

A User Review:

The production is low. The acting is bad. The cookies are horrible. But that is what makes Traxx such a great film! The plot is not overwrought and deep, but it holds its own. What you are left with is over-the-top action and campy fun. Each of the characters is unique and quotable. This film remains probably the most oft-quoted movies of all time between me and my family and friends.

There was no attempt to make this movie low budget, naturally. That is what makes the entire package worth multiple views. Unlike the trendy, big budget "under the radar" releases today that try to fit the low-budget profile (and all the while most remain overrated and under deserving), Traxx succeeds because it is the real deal. It is underrated and most deserving. Watching the main character (Traxx) almost break character and begin to laugh as the one-shot-only pyrotechnics go off around him (you cannot script that). The Guzik Brothers hit squad is so brutal and self centered, yet they do not have to demand more screen time from the viewer: you will demand it of them.

Quote:

Traxx: [refering to criminal who is holding up a pet store] He shot an old lady and a puppy!
Cop: The old lady was sport, but the puppy... Whew! That was pure genius. He can plead insanity on that one.

German DVD Cover Art:



Video:

#61 Night of the Creeps

IMDB Link

Plot:

In 1959, an alien experiment crashes to earth and infects a fraternity member. They freeze the body, but in the modern day, two geeks pledging a fraternity accidentally thaw the corpse, which proceeds to infect the campus with parasites that transform their hosts into killer zombies.

A User Review:

"Night of the Creeps" is definitely one of the better B-movies that are out there. Granted, like all B-movies it's a bit hokey at times, and also follows along the trademark lines with films of this caliber (obligatory boob shot, corny dialogue, poor camera techniques, etc.).

But give "Night of the Creeps" its due. First of all, it is fairly original for a B-movie. Alien slugs that infest the brain and turn you into a zombie may seem like a typical B-movie theme, but it's portrayed in a fairly unique manner. Given the time period of this movie's release, and it's obviously small budget, I'm quite impressed with the special-effects of the alien slugs as they race along the ground throughout the film. They're so simple, that it makes them look realistic and somewhat unnerving. In horror films, it is often the most simple effects that are the most discomforting to the viewer. I put these alien slugs along that line.

I really like Tom Atkins ("Lethal Weapon") as Detective Cameron too. He's the perfect actor for this particular role as the washed-up detective. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately for Tom's career, it seems that he often got type-cast to play the depressed, on-edge characters. Atkins is one of the bonuses in this B-flick.

Another "acting bonus" would have to be our two young heroes played by Jason Lively ("European Vacation") and Jill Whitlow. Lively as always plays the young, likable clod. Somewhat bashful, somewhat moronic, somewhat accident-prone, but you can't help but like the guy. And Whitlow is just plain cute. I sometimes think that 80's flicks didn't have enough cute girls in them, but Whitlow is definitely one of them.

All in all, "Night of the Creeps" is good for a B-movie. It'll entertain you for sure, and you won't get sick of it while you're watching. It's definitely one to watch if you're into the B-movie thing.

Trivia:

All the last names of the main characters are based on famous horror and sci-fi directors: George A. Romero (Chris Romero), John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper (James Carpenter Hooper), David Cronenberg (Cynthia Cronenberg), James Cameron (Det. Ray Cameron), John Landis (Det. Landis), Sam Raimi (Sgt. Raimi) and Steve Miner (Mr. Miner - The Janitor).

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#60 Dollman

IMDB Link

Plot:

Brick Bardo is a traveller from outer space who is forced to land on Earth. Though regular sized on his home planet, he is doll-sized here on Earth, as are the enemy forces who have landed as well. While Brick enlists the help of an impoverished girl and her son, the bad guys enlist the help of a local gang. When word leaks out as to his location, and all hell breaks loose. Brick is besieged by an onslaught of curious kids, angry gang members, and his own doll-sized enemies, and he must protect the family who has helped him and get off the planet alive

A User Review:

Dollman (1991) was a cheesy science fiction/action film that didn't try to pretend it was anything but. Tim Thomerson stars as Dollman, a diminutive alien who's travels through space and time to capture a galactic fugitive. The low budgets of this film shows through when the film maker uses a lot of bad trick photography and repeated use of film stock in several places to pad out the film's running time. Does Dollman get his man? How will he adjust to Earth's strange people and planetary environment? To find out you'll need to track down a copy of DOLLMAN.

Forign Titles:

Japan: MicroCop and Mikurokoppu
Finland: Nukkemies

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#59 Highway to Hell

IMDB Link

Plot:

Charlie and Rachel run away from home to get married in Las Vegas. But they get attacked by a zombie who takes Rachel with him to hell, where she will become one of Satan's brides.

A User Review:

As the one who did the main title and effects for Highway to Hell I can only answer this way...no budget...some cheesiness intentional. I must say I had a lot of fun trying to build all these effects with a $1.98 (almost). Didn't think it would turn out as funny and cultish as it did. Patrick Bergin, a really fine actor, is worth watching. Not easy acting under 40lbs. of make up.

Trivia:

This movie features four members of the Stiller Family: Jerry Stiller, his wife Anne Meara, Ben Stiller, and Ben's sister, Amy Stiller, who does bit parts in most of Ben's movies.

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#58 Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

IMDB Link

Plot:

Marvel's hard-boiled hero is brought to TV. He is brought back to fight the menace of Hydra after exiling himself in the Yukon since the end of the Cold War. The children of the former Hydra head, Baron Von Stucker, have taken charge of the terrorist organization. Under the lead of his vicious daughter, Viper, Hydra has seized a deadly virus and threatens the destruction of America. The covert agency SHIELD brings Fury out of retirement to fight the terrorists.

A User Review:

In the 1990's Marvel Comics was in something of a financial strain, and to help themselves out, they would lease the movie and television rights to their characters to whoever had cash on hand right at that moment (because $100 in your pocket is better than $10,000 in pledged money), this resulted in some tough times for the film adventures of the Marvel characters; Captain America and Punisher got direct to video adventures, the Fantastic Four film never saw the light of day, and Nick Fury and Generation X (X-Men spin off) were optioned for series by FOX. Neither one got past the pilot/TV movie stage. That said, of the pre-2000 Marvel film adaptations, Nick Fury is arguably among the best. One can never underestimate the power of the Hoff, and who could care about anything else? The plot, action, and special effects are above average for FOX TV movie, but it's not like they were out to get any Oscars or anything. Once could watch far worse, like Superman Returns.

Trivia:

Pierce mentions he trained at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Kirby Academy, a reference to comic book artist Jack Kirby.

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#57 Stay Tuned

IMDB Link

Plot:

The Knables are having marriage problems: Roy is a lousy plumbing supplies salesman by day and couch potato by night, and his wife, Helen, is a successful senior product manager for a vitamin company. Roy watches too much TV every night and Helen just cannot stand it. Then one night, Helen offers Roy a night to save their relationship: a romantic getaway without phones, their children, and especially no TV. Unfortunately, when Roy's hooked on the big screen, there's no going back. This frustrates and angers her and Helen decides to smash the family console with one of Roy's trophies as a wake-up call to reality. A heartbroken-to-disoriented Roy then hears the doorbell and finds out that it's a mysterious salesman named Spike who offers him the "ultimate getaway" from all the hate, frustration, and failures: a new remote controller and a new state-of-the-art satellite TV. Roy accepts the new TV by signing a free trial contract not knowing that he just sold his soul to the devil himself...

A User Review:

STAY TUNED offers a great comedic premise. John Ritter is a couch potato extraordinaire who gets what he may have long wished for when he is literally sucked into the 500-channel universe. Trouble is, this cable package is straight from h-e-double-hockey-sticks, with shows like "Duane's Underworld" and "Meet the Mansons." Along with wife Pam Dawber, he must survive 24 hours or be, to borrow a TV term, canceled.

The problem is, STAY TUNED never really capitalizes on this joke-rich notion. It starts out strong, but the continual TV parodies are often lame and gradually grow tiresome. The likable Ritter tries hard, he really does, but this material is far beneath him. Some of it is lightly funny, in a "Cracked" magazine kind of way, but most of it is not. And because it's basically a family film, things stay too tame to really please grown-ups.

Die-hard Ritter fans, 12-year-olds and staunch couch potatoes will get the most out of STAY TUNED. And although there's been much worse emitted from Hollywood, the rest of us are generally disappointed.

Trivia:

When sending away for something from ACME as a cartoon mouse, the envelope Roy is mailing has a stamp featuring a likeness of cartoon legend Chuck Jones, who supervised the animation sequence in the film.

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#56 Troll 2

IMDB Link

Plot:

A young child is terrified to discover that a planned family trip is to be haunted by vile plant-eating monsters out of his worst nightmare. His attempt to save his beloved family is assisted by the spectre of his deceased grandfather. Also, there are NO trolls in this movie, only goblins.

A User Review:

I would like to begin my review by saying that watching this movie will be like taking a hot fork and shoving it in your eye socket for some people, whereas for others it will be the funniest F'n thing you've ever seen.

Before I get into the meat of the story or as I like to call it a double decker bologna sandwich…Troll 2 has nothing to do with trolls (just goblins), Troll 2 also has absolutely nothing to do with Troll 1. AHA but that's not all!!!! The guy who made the cover for Troll 2 didn't see Troll 1 or Troll 2!!!! The original cover of Troll 2 has a werewolf (Not in Troll 1 or Troll 2) chasing a little boy who doesn't even appear in either of the Troll movies! If that doesn't make you want to take your head and smash it against concrete, I don't know what does.

I will now begin with the double decker bologna sandwich part of my analysis. The film begins with Grandpa Seth talking to his grandson Joshua. Joshua is constipated throughout the film and grandpa is dead. You know the kind of dead where you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you give your 12 year old grandson a Molotov cocktail and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back…that kind of dead. He tells that old story of how Peter Pan ran through the woods one day, ate green goup, and turned into a MLANT. The mother, played by Margo Prey (AKA greatest actress ever) assures Joshua that it was just a dream and goes onto explain that Grandpa's death was, "Very difficult for your father, for Holly, and for me his daughter." You may want to give that quote a second reading… The daughter is also brilliant in this picture. The chemistry between her and her boyfriend Elliott is sizzling!!! Ouch very hot! So sizzling that Elliott and his friends couldn't be more gay! Holly explains, "You take them to bed with you too (referring to Elliott's guy friends that are hanging out the window) and I don't believe in group sex". What??? Holly then explains that her parents don't like Elliott (that he is a good for nothing) and that they are going on vacation for a month. Ellliott then asks, "Is it true you're going on vacation tomorrow?" "Yes!" "I'll come with you?" "OK I'll tell my father that you're coming with us tomorrow" Believe me the movie keeps going…Joshua must do it he must do it! He must pee on everyone's food before they eat corn with green paste on it. Oh my god! Or how about "You're a genius big Sister!" Watch for the mother staring directly into the camera and yelling, "Oh dear god what can we do!" So they have this family exchange and they go to Nilbog and oh my god!

This movie is a pure masterpiece. It's so bad it's fantastic! I recommend everyone to give it one viewing just so you can say you've survived it's stupidity. Make sure you watch it with friends though…DO NOT watch this movie alone or you will lose your mind trying to figure out why anyone would make a movie this bad...I will leave you with this: Mother says "Elliott what are you doing here?" Daughter says "Elliott is part of the family now!" Mom puts her hand on Elliott's face, "Oh Elliott!"

Trivia:

Don Packard, who played the store owner, said in Best Worst Movie (2009) that he was on leave from intermittently staying in a mental hospital when he filmed Troll 2 (1990), and when he watched it later, he could see that he was not acting in his scenes - he really was as disturbed as his character.

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#55 Shredder

IMDB Link

Plot:

At an exclusive, secluded North American ski resort up on Mount Rocky Summit, brutal slashing, severing and beheading on a group of teenagers are taking place and are believed to be the work of a mysterious skier dressed in black.

A User Review:

Now I'm a huge fan of low-buck cheesy slashfests, but really, can we have some sort of oh, I dunno, a PLOT????? Wow. Teens decide to go "shredding" at an abandoned ski lodge (conveniently located miles from any help and decidedly spooky looking) where there was.........A MURDER years ago! And someone's looking for revenge on our young, goodlooking, rich and horny teenagers....can you FEEL the suspense? We have the requisite "party girl", the "snobby girl", the "good girl", the "handsome stranger guy", the "nice hero guy", the "dorky crazy guy" and the "quiet loner type", but that's not all! We have the "angry locals" and the "doofy sheriff", and of course our "masked killer" who uses a variety of instruments to do the deeds. I swear they had a copy of "The Idiot's Guide to making a Slasher Flick" on set at all times because this thing is sooooooo predictable. It's wretched in every way possible. It deserves the shredder. I intend to write the producers and ask for a refund of my rental fee, 'cause that's three bucks and I'll NEVER get the 90 minutes of my life I wasted by watching this back.

Trivia:

The film was released in Japan under the title "Jason Z" in a laughable attempt to connect it to the Friday the 13th sequel Jason X (2001). Shredder, of course, has no connection at all with the Friday the 13th series.

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#54 Humanoids from the Deep

IMDB Link

Plot:

Scientific experiments backfire and produce horrific mutations: halfman, halffish which terrorize a small fishing village by killing the men and raping the women.

A User Review:

Humanoids from the deep is a good B-movie from the 80's. It is full of cliches typical of horror movies. Women undressing with the windows opened. A woman hears a noise outside and leaves the house to investigate. Scary false alarms (you see someone approaching a woman, you believe it is the monster, but, guess what, it is just the boyfriend.) Let's be brief: this is Friday the 13th with sea monsters.

Fortunately, humanoids from the deep is unintentionally funny. Some scenes are hilarious. And some are a little scary. There's some suspense as well. And hey, at least a scientist explained why these monsters exist. Some monster movies don't do even that (anyone remembers Split Second?).

Bottom line: a good bad movie

Trivia:

Director Barbara Peeters once said that the 'humanoids' were originally suppose to be played by the films stunt men. Unfortunately the stunt men found the monster suits to be too 'goofy-looking' and refused to wear them. Additional actors had to be hired to perform as the monsters.

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#53 Brain Smasher

IMDB Link

Plot:

Sam Crain, a professional model, is asked by her sister to smuggle a package from Europe to Portland Oregon, where she discovers that her sister is battling Chinese Shaolin Monks (not ninjas!). Fleeing the monks, Sam unwittingly involves Ed "Brainsmasher" Molloy, a nightclub bouncer.

A User Review:

"Brain Smasher...A Love Story" is sort of fun to watch (there must be about 5 or 6 laughs here and there) and Teri Hatcher is sexy and feisty. But the script is just too thin and one-note: these evil Chinese monks want this flower that is the key to Ultimate Power, and Andrew Dice Clay, Teri Hatcher and Deborah Van Valkenburgh try to keep it away from them. That's it. The whole movie is basically an extended chase, without many plot complications: the monks catch up to the heroes, the heroes fight them off, the heroes run away, repeat. The other thing that bugged me was the inconsistency in the way these monks are presented: at certain times they seem to be invincible and almost superhuman, jumping from and to incredible heights (these acrobatics are definitely the freshest idea of the movie), at other times they are bumbling, inept and useless in a fight. Oh well, I guess you can just look admiringly at Teri Hatcher and try to forgive the weaknesses....Footnote: Brion James and Tim Thomerson have two very small parts as police officers.

Trivia:

At the end of the movie, when everybody is at the Zebra club, Sam's sister fires three rounds at Wu. Wu apparently catches all three bullets, then the camera zooms in on his hand. However, the bullets shown in his hand still have the casings on them, thus they couldn't have been fired from a gun.

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#52 Hell Comes to Frog Town

IMDB Link

Plot:

'Hell' is the name of the hero of the story. He's a prisoner of the women who now run the USA after a nuclear/biological war. Results of the war are that mutants have evolved, and the human race is in danger of extinction due to infertility. Hell is given the task of helping in the rescue of a group of fertile women from the harem of the mutant leader (resembling a frog). Hell cannot escape since he has a bomb attached to his private parts which will detonate if he strays more than a few hundred yards from his guard.

A User Review:

I love bad films. This film is horrible. Fiendishly so. You get drawn in. It sucks up your will to stop watching. You sit there absolutely positive that you won't get more horrified. But heck it's got Rowdy Roddy Piper in it as the main star. That has to tell you something, though for the life of me I can't tell what. Please avert your eyes as our hero, Sam Hell(Rowdy), gets, for lack of a better word, seduced by every female in the post-apocalyptic world including a mutant frog woman. It's scary...I screamed in terror. And don't even get me started on the dance of the three snakes...I'll never look at a frog the same way again.

Trivia:

When Captain Delving falls off a short cliff, he lands on padding that pops up after he hits it. Also, a pillowy noise is clearly audible.

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#51 R.S.V.P.

IMDB Link

Plot:

A Hitchcockian black comedy in the spirit of 'Rope' and Agatha Christie's 'Ten Little Indians' that begs the question can murder, if done well, be considered art? An art whose medium is one of flesh and bone.

A User Review:

As one of the commenters here noted, sundance is usually inundated with gritty depressing films. R.S.V.P. is certainly not one of those. The same person said there were many clues throughout the film that hint at the surprise ending. To say that there were "clues" is an understatement. At every juncture the film screamed its torpid theme.

The film alludes several times to an underrated hitchock flick called "rope". Despite the allusions, the film doesn't even come close to Rope's level of philosophy, morality, or thrills. Instead it borrows a couple ideas, mixes in a few of the cheesier elements of mediocre American thrillers (see "Scream") and comes out with absolute boredom.

There were a few elements that could have made this film great. The allusion to rope could have gone farther and actually translated the film into a modern adaptation. One element that has changed since the time of rope is the perceived value of "fame". The film touched on this, but didn't carry anything through. The thing that could have been done right was translating the fame into a postmodern context. The killer claims he wants fame, but he tries to setup the professor as the culprit for all the murders. This could have actually been an excellent concept if the film had decided to take into account the two realities it exists in, namely: The reality of the film, wherein the professor would take the blame, and secondly the reality of the film as watched by the audience, where the killer could find fame without cost. Indeed, this would have been a clever concept that perhaps would have carried this over into the intellectual genre. Instead, the director has his character act inconsistently and later claim that he wants to be pursued by the FBI "because it's part of the game". The result is that the killer comes off as an absolute idiot, which is unfortunate because our interest has been staked in him being clever enough to pull something entertaining off.

To go back to the comment that this film is so unlike the rest of sundance's depressing flicks, I'm going to have to disagree. This having passed for an intellectual thriller is several times more depressing than boys don't cry.

Trivia:

Majandra Delfino (who did all of her own stunts) can indeed actually fit totally inside a Sears Kenmore Oven.

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#50 Christmas Evil

IMDB Link

Plot:

Widely recognized as the best of the Christmas horror efforts, Christmas Evil is the story of a boy who loves Christmas. He is scarred as a boy when he learns that Santa is not real. Throughout the rest of his life, the toy-maker tries to make the Christmas spirit a reality. He becomes obsessed with the behavior of children and the quality of the toys he makes. When he is met with hypocrisy and cynicism, the resulting snap causes him to go on a yuletide killing spree to complete this dark comedic horror.

A User Review:

What makes a movie a cult classic? Well a lot of things really, but these type of films are only enjoyed by a certain kind of person. It's like that saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Movies like 'The Toxic Avenger' and the work of director John Waters are just some of example of films deemed "cult classics." They have some really ardent and loyal fans, but they're also not for all tastes. Now some of my favorite films, including the ones I mentioned above, fall into this category. However I don't believe that all cult films are bad ones, though some like cult sensation 'Troll 2' truly are.

Films of this genre/type/category, whatever you want to call it, are different than the norm. They show us things that more conventional films wouldn't dare. A prime example would be Horror films set around Christmas time. To date there have been several of these and just about all of them are considered cult classics. Which brings me to this film, which is one of the most well known and liked of it's kind. After finally seeing it for myself, I can see what's appealing about it, but I don't see why so many people love it. To each his own.

Pros: A good concept. Fantastic score. Good performances by Brandon Maggart and Jeffrey DeMunn. No one else is worth mentioning simply because they get so little to do. Has an unshakable creepiness about it. Moves at a slow, but steady pace. Very well done for such a low budget production. Some good disturbing moments and images that'll stay with you.

Cons: Tedious at times. Lacks someone to root for. An admirable, but not very successful attempt at a character study due to the flawed writing. Very misleading title. A lousy and very disappointing ending.

Final thoughts: I have to say I had high hopes for this one and though I found a lot to like, overall I wasn't too impressed. I wouldn't discourage anyone who likes these type of movies from seeing it, but if you do just don't go in with too high of expectations. It is really a shame though. This film had the makings of a great cult classic, but it just wasn't executed well enough. Nice try.


Trivia:

Kathleen Turner was turned down for the role as Harry's sister-in-law.

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#49 The Lost Empire

IMDB Link

Plot:

After officer Rob Wolfe is killed trying to stop a gang of ninjas from robbing a jewelery store, his sister, officer Angel Wolfe, vows to avenge his death. Her investigation leads her to the mysterious Dr. Sin Do, who is supposedly in league with an undead wizard named Lee Chuck. The doctor is holding a martial arts tournament on a secret island fortress, so Angel, after rounding up some of her martial-artist friends, enters the tournament in the hopes of finding Sin Do and Lee Chuck and bringing them to justice.

A User Review:

This film was featured on German cable for 6 or 7 times during the last few years and tells the story of three Bond-like chicks which get undercover into the army of super-villain Sin Do who threats the world with laser weapons or whatever...

To tell an interesting or demanding plot is a minor matter, because "The Lost Empire" is trash in perfection! The costumes (none of the female "actress" wears one...), the set decoration and the special F/X are more than lousy (even for the 80s standard!) and will remind you sometimes on the old Ed Wood-movies! The film itself however is funny and entertaining from beginning till the end! Two actors are worth to be mentioned: the one is Raven de la Croix, the unforgotten voluminous actress from Russ Meyer´s cult exploitationer "Up!". The other is Angus Scrimm who performs the bad guy and is still well-known for his role as "tall man" from the "Phantasm"-series. The rest of the film is a silly mixture between nude girls, cat fighting scenes and Z-grade action.

In other words: a must-see for every fan of trash-gems and the lovers of cheesy C-movie homages!!!

Jim Wynorski has created his masterpiece with this!!!

Trivia:

In an interview with the director, Jim Wynorski, he said "I got my first break doing The Lost Empire for Plitt Theatres. The late owner, Henry Plitt (a decorated war hero), wanted to make a low budget sci-fi action picture as a tax loss. I never knew that when I made the show, so I put my heart and soul into the project. When it finally got completed, Plitt actually liked it enough to give it a wide theatrical release - where it actually made some money."

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#48 Zapped!

IMDB Link

Plot:

Peyton and Barney are fun loving high school students working on a science project with white mice. When one of the mice begins to move food toward itself with out touching it, Barney finds he has accidently discovered a formula for telekinetic powers. Now, how much trouble can a high school boy who can move things with just his mind get into?

A User Review:

I just bought a copy of Zapped for $5 and watched it for the first time in several years the other day. All the reviews you will read for the movie here sum it up. It's a bad story, with bad actors, with bad acting, with bad special effects and I enjoy it every time I watch it. I don't know why because I've never liked Scott Baio or Willie Aames in anything else they did, but they click here. I also think Felice Schacter was a cutie in the picture. I always make the comparison to WKRP in Cincinnati when I watch this picture. Felice is Bailey Quarters and Heather Thomas is Loni Anderson's Jennifer (and I preferred Bailey by far). I always got a kick out of Scatman Crothers and he has some great lines in this movie as does LaWanda Page (from Sanford and Son fame). And don't forget the movie industry's biggest geek, Eddie Deezen, who makes an appearance.

As another reviewer put it, watching Zapped is a guilty pleasure. if that's the case, I probably belong on Death Row! If you want to clear your mind of all thoughts and don't want to do it with chemicals, pop in Zapped and enjoy!

Trivia:

The movie ad received complaints from Los Angeles Times readers, not because of what the readers could see but because the illustrated boy characters could see up the skirt of the illustrated girl character. A modified movie ad was run in the Los Angeles Times with the illustrated girl's character's modesty protected by a lower skirt from the illustrated boy characters.

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